dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
We talked him into tasing himself.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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