i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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