Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
