FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
