hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
