My first STD was from a foam party
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
