Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize