Sry I called you an 8
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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