If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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