maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Randomize
