No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
