i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
