white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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