He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
