Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize