So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
