after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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