There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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