If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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