i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize