I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
