Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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