quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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