My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
