I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
