whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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