I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
