I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
too bad you live with your parents still
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
