I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize