**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
