have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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