just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
