she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
