i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
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