Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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