i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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