I must be too annoying 4 u.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
