grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
please come you make the beer taste better
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
