Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
