he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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