shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
worst night to have a conscience
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
