Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
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