The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
