He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
