I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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