: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
