I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
We got so high we made milksteak
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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