if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
