glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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