I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
