And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
