so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
