I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
