I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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