That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
