I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
