i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
