i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
