Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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